


A New Route

by LunarLaser



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Gender-Neutral My Unit | Byleth, One Shot, Post-Canon technically i guess, Spoilers, Time Loop, i am and always will be bad at tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24399181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarLaser/pseuds/LunarLaser
Summary: After reliving the events and multiple routes of Fire Emblem: Three Houses and retaining their memories, Byleth is tired of trying to save everyone.
Kudos: 26





	A New Route

**Author's Note:**

> Had this idea a while ago and put this one-off into motion today. Love the angst potential of this.

The vision that I’ve seen a hundred times before flashes before me again: the fall of Nemesis. While Seiros cradles the bloody Sword of the Creator, the vision begins to fade as always and the face of a young girl on a throne appears before them. She stirs from her slumber and rubs her eyes. She gives a yawn and stares at where my presence is.

“Oh my,” she says, “what could’ve brought you here?” She lays back on her throne and yawns once again. “I wonder how you got in here. It is most rude to interrupt a moment of repose. Very rude indeed. Now come to me. I wish to have a look at you.”

“No,” I replied. This caused a look of shock and offense to appear across her face.

“Excuse me,” she said, “you’re the one who has trespassed in my domain and disturbed my slumber! Now, I demand you show yourself!” Despite the fact I had no mouth, I could feel myself smile.

“Sothis,” I said, “You never change.” She looked at me strangely.

“Sothis,” she said, “That is my name. I could not think of it so… how did you know it?” She looked slightly afraid. I feel slightly bad now.

“You are also referred to as the Beginning,” I said. “There is… much more I could tell you.” Now her fear went back to anger. She stepped off her throne and glared at where she felt I was and spoke sternly.

“Who are you?” she asked. “Why do you know this and why are you here? I demand answers from you.” I sighed.

“I apologize, Sothis,” I said. “I did not mean to worry you.” Her face softened slightly but she still looked at me suspiciously. “I… I currently have no name. Nor gender. Nor form. If I choose what it is now, that’s how it was and always will be.” Now she looked confused. 

“I need further explanation,” she said.

“Are you aware of our current situation?” I asked. She closed her eyes and seemed to be thinking.

“Our lives are linked,” she said. “I can feel that much.”

“Now,” I started, “Do you know why? Do you know who you truly are?” She concentrated once more but after a moment, she shook her head. “I figured as much. I will give you the short version. You are the goddess of the land of Fodlan. You were killed in a war a long time ago. One of your… devout followers tried to revive you by using me. As you can see, it was a success.” Sothis seemed shocked. She sat back in her throne and looked like she wanted to sleep once more.

“How do you know this?” she asked me. I sighed once more.

“Because I’ve experienced the truth hundreds if not thousands of times,” I told her. “If I came before you in a form and gave you a name, we would then awaken and begin a fantastic journey that forever changes Fodlan.”

“Sounds exciting,” she says.

“At times,” I said somberly, “it was. But it also comes with a great deal of pain. Pain that… I can’t relive anymore.” She now looks at me sadly.

“Relive?” she asked.

“I was only able to live and fight thanks to your godly power,” I said. “The power to turn back time. It helped me fight and win the war that will start in a matter of months. But, whatever ritual what was done to bring you back and give me this power has also put a grave curse on me. I can’t die.” Sothis looked horrified by this and at that moment, she seemed to have a large headache. She clenched her temples and gave a distressed noise.

“Ah!” she screamed. I wanted to run to her and help her but… I know I couldn’t. However, a moment later she opened her eyes and looked at my direction. “I remember now,” she said. “You become a professor and teach at Garreg Mach and teach there. You chose the… I can’t remember. You chose a house to teach but I can’t remember.”

“I’ve chosen all of them,” I said. “As I said, I’ve relived hundreds of times. I’ve taken many routes and retried those routes. I’ve taught all three of them. That’s probably why you can’t remember specifically. I don’t know when this cycle started but the first few times, I didn’t remember anything but I still made different decisions. In different forms with different names so I don’t know what my true name and form are.” Sothis stood up and began pacing back and forth in front of her throne.

“I slowly began to recall things about my students that they did not tell me. Including visions of them older. After that, visions of them dead. Whether it was my doing or not was unknown to me. It was only the past few cycles that I began to recall everything from the beginning. From this point. It always began from this point. I don’t recall anything that happened before now. I don’t remember my childhood or even the others in my mercenary group.”

“Yes,” Sothis said. “I believe I am beginning I am starting to see the full picture. Maybe it is because I became a part of you. Even in the cycles in which you sided with Edelgard and your heart was released, my power might have lived on inside of you and caused the new cycle.”

“I believe that as well,” I said. “I’ve lived so many lives. Fought in war so many times. Fell in love even more times. And killed countless times.” Sothis stopped pacing and plopped back down on her throne.

“So,” she said, “what is your plan?” 

“Nothing,” I replied. Sothis leaned forward bewildered and her eyes wide opened.

“I don’t understand,” she said. “What do you mean nothing?” I sighed.

“I have tried everything,” I told her. “I have joined the Black Eagles, the Blue Lions, and the Golden Deer a hundred times each. I have joined and betrayed Edelgard so many times. And I have… I don’t know how to save them all. No matter what I do, the war breaks out and I can’t stop it and my students begin to die. Some by my hand. I hope that if I can avoid the war, the cycles will stop. I have tried to solve all their problems and I have fallen in love with all of them. Nothing I try will save them. 

It hurts so much because I truly love them all and understand them all. While I do not approve of the war at all, I understand why Edelgard did it. She felt like it was her only option to take humanity back. The darkness in Dimitri’s heart held him for so long and his anger caused many to suffer. I wanted to protect him from himself. Claude wanted nothing more to create a new Fodlan as well. He could have possibly cooperated with Edelgard but I’ll never know. Rhea… she has a great deal of sins on her back as well, but also a great amount of suffering.”

“You…” Sothis said with pity in her voice. Even though I had no body and I was only a voice in the ether, I felt as though I had tears running down my face.

“I love them all dearly,” I said softly. “And I’m done watching them all suffer. I’m done watching them all die. I am tired of smelling their blood and betraying their trust. As well as seeing my father die. That is always an inevitability. That surely must be fate. But if I just… stay here, it will all be on pause. It will not continue. They will all be safe. Either that or time moves on without me and I don’t have to face them and the chips will fall where they may. I just don’t want any part of it. Not anymore.” Sothis began to quickly walk down the stairs with an angry look on her face. As soon as she reached the bottom, she angrily slapped the air as if to hit me.

“You selfish fool!” she screamed. “I would hit you if you were not too cowardly to show your face to me! How could you do that? Your students are relying on you for guidance and you are just going to leave them? I never took you for a quitter or a coward!”

“Edelgard!” I began yelling angrily. “Hubert, Ferdinand, Bernadetta, Dorothea, Caspar, Linhardt, Petra, Dimitri, Dedue, Felix, Annette, Mercedes, Ashe, Ingrid, Sylvain, Claude, Hilda, Lorenz, Marianne, Raphael, Ignatz, Marianne, Lysithea, Leonie, Flayn, Seteth, Rhea, Alois, Manuela, Hanneman, Catherine, Shamir, Cyril, Gilbert, Emile, Yuri, Balthus, Constance, Hapi! Their names and many others are all scars in my mind! I will never forget them or the pain they have been through. I’m sorry that Rhea did not force you into the body of someone stronger. But I have lived and died as the hero too many times.” I saw Sothis’s face soften.

“You used to be so emotionless,” she said. I was surprised by these words. “Not that you lacked emotion, just the ability or need to express them. Especially so fiercely. But they changed you, didn’t they? I know you love them. I love them as you do.” She reached her forward and green light began to emanate from her hand. She touched a spot in the air and I began to feel. I began to take form. I appeared in human form before Sothis. “That’s better,” she said. “Now I can see you.”

“Why would you-” I was cut off by Sothis pulling me down as she was much shorter than me and embracing me. She placed my head on her shoulder. I got on my knees to accommodate this.

“You really have suffered much,” she said. “But you must not give up hope. You can not stop the flow of time like this and you are an integral part of it as well. If we are caught in this loop, that means everyone is.” I almost scoff.

“Time is cruel,” I said. “It does nothing but betray you. That is why a human’s life span is so short. Time without end is… maddening. It is hell. I am beginning to wonder if this is how Rhea feels after living for so long. If she feels this mad.” Sothis and I separate. She turns and walks back up the stairs and sits back on her throne.

“So, have you truly chosen to give up?” She asked me. “Have you truly chosen nihilism? Do you really believe that this is all meaningless and that the only option you have is to give up?” I clenched my newly formed fist.

“I know it is pathetic and that you suffer from this decision as well, but…” Sothis seemed to think over my words.

“Is it really true that it is impossible for things to change?” she asked me. “Is it not true that a grand changed happened and forever changed the cycles?” I wondered what she meant by that. Then I gasped.

“You mean the Ashen Wolves?” I asked. She nodded.

“They were not originally a part of the cycles but soon they were revealed to you,” she said. “Emile as well was not a friend of yours until later cycles. Does that not mean it is possible for these cycles to change?” I trembled slightly. 

“So am I supposed to just keep going until a new opportunity randomly appears before me?” I asked. “I don’t know if I can do that.” Sothis tilted her head.

“Very well,” she said. “I will respect your decision. I have no choice but to. We will simply spend eternity together. Perhaps I can somehow conjure some cards.” I looked up at her.

“I want to be able to change things,” I told her. “However, it seems that the power of a goddess can not change fate. Even a goddess that can control the flow of time.”

“Hah,” Sothis laughed. “You put a lot of responsibility on me and my power as if my power is the sole reason you were able to make massive changes in Fodlan countless times. Do you really think that any fool with my power could do so? You were able to do so because you are an incredible human and an incredible leader. You should really give yourself more credit.”

“It all just feels so pointless,” I told her.

“Even if it is,” she said. “Even if you are unable to make a change, is this truly what you want? Do you truly want to stay here for all eternity? It might be easier but is easier truly what you desire?”

“I… I just want to save them all,” I replied. “I want them all to be happy.” Sothis smiled. 

“That sounds more like you,” she said. “I won’t lie to you, the path that you’ve laid before yourself will be treacherous and heartbreaking. But things are changing. This conversation is proof of that. Are you prepared to travel this new path?

“No,” I replied. “Even though I know the many paths the future can take, I will never be fully prepared. But… I do not want to give in to fear. I want to save them. I am going to save them. No matter what it takes.” Sothis stood up.

“Fantastic,” she said. “ We’re off to a great start. Now with that out of the way, I would like to ask you another question. What is your name?” I took a deep breath before responding.

“My name… is Byleth.”

**Author's Note:**

> Quarantine gives me a great excuse to write. Thank you for reading!


End file.
